Author's Comments
Meh.
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Comments
Open it and throw in strands of my hair.
Be the itch that you can’t live without.
Disturbingly poignant.
--
Man, you ain't lived / till you've had your tires rotated / by a redheaded woman. -Bruce Springsteen
--
"I must remember it has always been like this: those Trojan women learning their fates; the simple sharpness of the guillotine. A filigree of cruelty adorns every culture." (Linda Pastan – A Rainy Country)
I would take out the "and this way again" in the first stanza and just leave "and again". And I think the second 'quick' in stanza 2 could be done without.
But this is wonderful, loved how strange and yet familiar this feels. Don't mess with it too much.
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"Let your words be fitting".
Inferno Canto X
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"I must remember it has always been like this: those Trojan women learning their fates; the simple sharpness of the guillotine. A filigree of cruelty adorns every culture." (Linda Pastan – A Rainy Country)
Open it and throw in strands of my hair.
Be the itch that you can’t live without.
But I know life is somewhere between
nowhere and goodbye; and you know
full well I’d rather be nowhere with
you than goodbye.
I enjoyed that most.
This part is a bit awkward:
Your placid face makes me want to
smear sand over mine, pound your
chest with: would you love still,
a sand marred face like this? So I do,
and you laugh, mouth disappearing
another chip, telling me: of course,
of course.
So easy. So easily.
Maybe:
Your placid face makes me want to
smear sand all over mine, pound your
chest and ask: 'would you still love,
a sand marred face like this?' So I do,
and you laugh, telling me: of course,
of course.
So easy. So easily.
--
----
I'm not going to ask you to,
but it would be nice,
if my gallery had visit from you.
--
"I must remember it has always been like this: those Trojan women learning their fates; the simple sharpness of the guillotine. A filigree of cruelty adorns every culture." (Linda Pastan – A Rainy Country)
--
"It is only while the body endures that the mind is subject to passive emotions." - Baruch Spinoza
--
"I must remember it has always been like this: those Trojan women learning their fates; the simple sharpness of the guillotine. A filigree of cruelty adorns every culture." (Linda Pastan – A Rainy Country)
--
life is on the rocks
am i the sea or the sand?
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